Lady Hathaway has been sold

Its taken a while but the madam has been taken. I am referring of-course to the Mitsubishi Pajero that we have had for some 5 years now. The old “girl” has given us some good service. We treasured the moments when we could jolt it into 4×4 action and roll it up the hill. Not! Or use that pirate looking hook in front to tow our buddies useless wreck. Not! Oh well, it did help us with all those grocery shopping, events and functions we had to attend. But most of all, my wife liked it for the pure pleasure that it worked. Nowadays you buy a car and the first thing you have to worry about is: When will it breakdown or how fuel efficient it is?

She worked like a charm and drove like …… your average Pajero! And that’s what its all about. The drive!!! No frills and no spills (oil spills that is) but just a hard worker in the making. Bye, bye my fair lady. We will sorely miss that ultimate drive. Go and give your new owner a smile he’ll never forget.

It’s a tight squeeze

Today I realized the potential of being overweight. I say it like this, cause in today’s age of hungry famished, bone hugging models standing out as an overweight hippo, is a cold saw. No, not cold slaw. But a cold saw!!! My theory on it is that we try so hard to be a part of the Jones’s that we tend to forget what the Jones’s or ourselves really look like. I mean have you really taken a look at yourself (being fat) in the mirror, and said: “Oh, what a marvelous piece of fat I am! You just don’t see or hear that. Well, if I must be a pioneer in it then I’d say I do look at myself and say: “Oh, that curve is really coming into shape on the left side of my buttocks.” I wonder how I can make it more protruding. For a guy its a mild progression into old age but for women its really a struggle.

As per the start of this blog I wrote “today”. Yes, today I couldn’t get into my size 36 jeans. It was just too tight round the waste and my bulging belly didn’t help much. So I resorted in leaving the the top button undone and voila it worked. But then the crotch area was giving me slack and I started walking around like a dislocated penguin. I could always blame it on the brand “Guess” but then again they wouldn’t be able to guess my size when I fitted into it this morning. So, it leaves me to note that I am the problem.

No, you can’t be serious. Why should I blame myself for this? It could never be me. I’m just an innocent, starved, food craving monster. Oh well, lets blame Beethoven (the dog) for my shortcomings. I have to blame someone, right? I feel that its necessary to end this blog now before I get into trouble. So if you can’t get into your shorts, jeans or whatever. Don’t blame me or yourself, blame someone else. It might ease the load you have on your shoulders and place the stress on that spot you call your midriff. There’s one for all us overeaters …..